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This spring has certainly been anything but, including our annual trip to Tennessee. Personally it was this writer’s third sojourn down to Tennessee in as many years. It has always unofficially been a “guys only” trip. Well this year things were a little different. Right from the “get-go” we started out four bikes but only two people shy of what was planned in the not too distant past. How can this be, the numbers don’t add up? With less than a week till blast-off, first timers Kevin and Debra Ridsdale were looking forward to both riding their bikes on this trip. That was until a smug 18-year-old rear-ended Kevin at a light breaking bones in his foot and ending their two-wheeled weekend adventure. You would think that their story ends right here…no sirree folks, not with these two. Being the trouper that Debra is, she pieced Plan “B” together (after rightfully giving the little snot-nosed brat an earful for not even getting out of the car to see if Kevin was Ok and then standing there with the “it’s not my fault that I hit you even though I was behind you and you didn’t move” look on his face). She packed the bags, threw them in the car and said “come-on gimpy we’re goin’ four wheelin’ with the group whether you like it or not”. Now, between this and a couple of other untimely misfortunes, you would think that would be it, right? Not yet. We arrived at our pre-determined meeting point Wednesday morning only to find first timers Stan and Laura meeting the “fickled finger of fate” a few days prior. Laura was banged-up pretty good. This was due to an untimely meeting between her hand and a closing car door, (that just happened to be driving-off when totally closed on said hand). By the way, this all started with a kiss. How’s that for bad luck? So anyway, here we are at 5:30am and the writer is assessing the situation, thinking to his self, I can’t make this stuff up, what’s next? We haven’t even left the parking lot in Michigan! Fun happened next. This is the first year my wife has went. She had the Gerbing’s on so she was happy. And when mamma’s happy, I’m happy. We all had a blast. We had great weather the first day. Batted .500 on detours, one we took saving us about a half an hour and one we didn’t costing us – you guessed it – a half an hour. Our only problem (and some men wouldn’t call it that – not me though) was a broken mike wire on my wife’s headset. A quick call to Ed Set’s and one was on its way gratis. With one snip from my 10-in-1 tool and a 6” long piece of electrical tape, Kevin and I had the wires fixed. Technical Note; Did you know that if you reverse the two wires to the mike, whatever you say actually comes out backward to your co-rider? A little inside joke between Kevin and Linda. As day 1 ride was over, pizza and couple of cold ones were the order of the day. As the evening was winding down, some revelations came to light. An OPRAH magazine was discovered. The problem was, it wasn’t one of the women who brought it. Not to worry, this person – who shall remain nameless – was severely excoriated by the group. Remember, what happens in Hillsville, stays in Hillsville right gang? Day 2 started with that bad Karma thing again. What was initially thought to be a leaky front brake caliper on one of the bikes, ended up being a bad fork seal thanks to a quick analysis by our CD Jim Dingus. Off we went on the Blue Ridge Parkway and another good day for riding. Except for the known detours off of the Parkway, all was well. That is, until one of the women started having “hot flashes”. It turned out to be a “false alarm”, as somehow mysteriously the “heated seat” button kept going on and off. Must be a warranty issue, eh? Day 2 ride was over with a couple of cold ones required to figure out where to eat dinner. Day 3 was Deals Gap and Cherohala Parkway. Led by riding ace Rick Keeling, a lot of “young pups” were going to get off the porch and run with the Big Dogs today. As observed by the Wiley old veteran Rick, there were only two bikes at the Dam Overlook. Bad Karma? Not today, not yet anyway. The Dragon’s Tongue was hot on someone else’s tail this day. By the Grace of God, we all made it through with lots of good camaraderie in the parking lot at the far end. Linda was actually able to take 14 minutes of video on the Dragon; I think this is a 1st for our chapter. After looking on in disgust while a semi truck headed back the way we came on Deals Gap, the writer said a little prayer for the safety of our two-wheeled brethren and took solace in the fact that the trucker was probably going to “get his” as one of Tennessee’s finest was helping to “tame the Dragon” today. On the way over to Cherohala, the sun was out and it seemed to be a perfect day as some of us attested to that fact over the CB. Well, that was a sure jinx. We didn’t make it another 10 miles before the skies opened-up. It didn’t last though. We did most of the Cherohala in dry fashion. The rest of the ride was just the same as every year; great scenery, great riding….and the same stupid turn out in the middle of nowhere that we always seem to miss. Better luck next year group, but I hear they made book in Vegas and its even money that it will be missed again next year. Once back at the Hotel we all decided to go to the Mexican Restaurant for dinner. After a fine meal, great company and enough BS to fertilize the north 40, we made a few laps around the Go-cart track. I sure am glad the people that I two-wheel with don’t ride the way they race Go-carts. We would leave a trail of chrome and plastic that Hansel & Gretel would be proud of. Day 3 in the books and all is well. Day 4…Turn out the lights…the parties over. We had a couple of early birds leave at 6am. The rest of us had a nice breakfast and headed out of town under some threatening skies. My wife and I off to start our quest to find a place down south willing to take us in after our working days are over and the rest of the group off to find the ultimate motel stop somewhere up I-75 for a relaxing Sunday finish to the ride. To the writers understanding, and without going into any detail, they never quite found it. In the end, we all made it home no worse for wear. Pretty good considering what could have been based on events leading up to this little adventure. Post Script To Bill Harrison, thanks again for pulling this all together. It was a blast. To Rick Keeling, great Lead and Tailgun work as always. To Rick Simpson, can’t live without your quick wit and humor To Toastmaster Bob, do you realize that if you get a CB you will have to inherit a dumbfounded look on your face like the rest of us every time the group stops? To Stan and Laura, aren’t you glad that Goldwings don’t have doors? To Kevin, get well and be ready for next year. To H.O.T.T.T., watch out for those faulty heated seats. To Brian, your stories from being Livonia’s finest are priceless. To CD Jim Dingus, thanks again for all that you (and Patty) do and sometimes more importantly don’t do. To Linda (and everyone else), thanks for putting up with me To Larry and Mac, we really missed you guys this year. We will definitely see you next year. To Jim and Paul our guardian angels, Thanks for keeping us safe, may you be in the loving arms of our Lord.
I’m goin’ out to the garage now. I want to see what really happens when the leads get swapped on that Microphone. If it really works, I should have a guest spot locked up for the coming season of The Red Green Show |
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Tennessee in April - Business as Usual? Randy Knockeart - 2008 Chapter H Couple of the Year |
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Gold Wing Road Riders Association |
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“Livonia Area Wings” Michigan |
